Dear Bloom: Communicating the Impact of a Breakup to Your Boss

Dear Bloom,

I've recently gone through a tough breakup with my partner of 7 years, and my life has been turned upside down. It's been a struggle just to get out of bed each day, let alone go to work. I've been in my current role for 2 years and have always received positive feedback, but lately, I know my performance has been slipping. I've called in sick a few times and just can't seem to stay focused.

I really value my job and it took me months to get here. How can I explain what's happening to my manager without risking my position? I don't want to get fired.

— Heartbroken

Image Description: The image shows two individuals standing in an office setting. The person on the left is holding a white mug with both hands and is dressed in a long-sleeve green shirt and black pants. They are facing the person on the right, who is holding a stack of papers or a file folder in their left hand. This second person is dressed in a pinstripe blazer and a beige top. They are standing next to shelves filled with binders and office supplies. The overall atmosphere suggests a casual conversation or a brief meeting between the two individuals.

Dear Heartbroken,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Breakups can really throw your world into a tailspin, especially after being with someone for so long. Here’s a thought—try approaching your manager with honesty and vulnerability. Trust me, we’ve all been there.

Maybe start with something like, "Hey [Manager’s Name], I wanted to chat because I've been going through some personal stuff lately that's been affecting my work. I've always prided myself on my performance here, but recently, I know I've been off my game."

Let them know how much you value your role and that you're committed to getting back on track. You could say, "I really care about my job and our team, and I'm working on finding my balance again. I appreciate your understanding during this time."

Here's a step-by-step plan to help you navigate the conversation:

  1. Choose the Right Time: Schedule a private meeting when your manager isn't swamped. You want their full attention.

  2. Be Honest and Concise: Explain your situation without oversharing. Stick to the impact it's having on your work.

  3. Express Your Commitment: Reinforce how much you value your job and are dedicated to improving your performance.

  4. Suggest Temporary Solutions: Propose practical adjustments like a flexible schedule, temporary workload reduction, or even some personal time off to recharge.

  5. Ask for Support: See if there are any resources available, like counseling or employee assistance programs, that can help you through this period.

  6. Follow Up: Keep your manager updated on your progress and any steps you're taking to get back on track.

And remember, you’re definitely not alone in this. Studies show that breakups significantly impact work performance. According to a survey by Virgin Pulse, 67% of employees said a breakup affected their productivity at work, and 25% took time off to cope with the emotional strain.

Hang in there, and remember, everyone goes through tough times. Your manager will likely appreciate your honesty and willingness to communicate.

I hope your heart heals soon ❤️


Avery

Bloom