The NY Times Says HR is Miserable. Here's My Take.
So, I read the article, you know, the one about HR being miserable, and I have some thoughts. As I sat in my home office, surrounded by books on management, the future of work, and mindfulness, it hit me. We're miserable, and it's for a good reason: we are consistently one of the few corporate roles expected to do 40 jobs in one, and HR is predominantly made up of women (I'll get to this later).
Let's talk about it…
In corporate, HR professionals are often the invisible hands that keep everything running smoothly. But behind the scenes, it's a different story. We're frequently viewed as the office Mom, constantly context-shifting from planning parties to coaching disengaged managers and mediating sticky interpersonal team fallouts in less than an hour.
One minute, we're strategic business partners planning workforce initiatives. The next, we're culture champions, trying to make the workplace inclusive and engaging. We're also mental health advocates, diversity “warriors”, compliance officers, and the folks handling payroll and benefits.
The emotional labour is staggering. We're the go-to people for employee crises, whether personal meltdowns or professional disasters. We handle layoffs, mediate disputes, and support employees through tough times. It's a wonder we don't have therapists on speed dial.
I've been in HR for 17 years, and there was a time when HR had distinct roles:
There were HR folks that focused on compensation and benefits.
Recruiters just did recruitment.
There were people that focused just on culture and engagement.
HR leaders had administrative support.
EA’s were common for CPO’s and HR Executives.
HR practitioners weren’t expected to be experts in DEI.
Recruitment teams (believe it or not) had sourcing specialists.
I even worked at a company with an internal employment law team. Over the years companies have increased HR's workload while shrinking the team.
My Take
In response to The New York Times article, I found myself nodding in agreement with the sentiments expressed by many of my fellow HR professionals. People like Alicia Lewis, who highlighted the relentless pressure and the vast scope of our roles, truly captured what it means to be in HR today. I also resonate with Carla Simmons's frustration regarding the lack of appreciation and support from upper management.
However, I have to disagree with Marcus Jansen's perspective, who seemed to downplay the emotional toll of HR work by suggesting that better time management could alleviate much of the stress. It's more than managing time; it's about managing an overwhelming breadth of responsibilities with limited resources. The expectation to balance empathy with efficiency (while doing 40 jobs) under constant pressure cannot be solved with a time management app.
Despite all this, we're often overlooked and underappreciated. We navigate a maze of expectations, trying to balance it all with grace while keeping a smile on our faces. Listen, The burnout is real, and the frustration is palpable.
The Elephant In the Room
We cannot have a conversation about the misery of HR without addressing gender and the systemic ways in which women are treated at work. HR is dominated by women, which is great. This fact speaks to the shared experience people in HR are having. According to the US Bureau of Labour Statistics, HR is an industry dominated by women, making up 70% of HR professionals. It is ironic that one of the few roles in corporate that people openly talk about not trusting is predominantly led by women. And, with that, I encourage you to pay close attention to the gender of the folks who consistently deem HR as "untrustworthy". You'll notice a pattern.
Why are the people we disproportionately trust to support and advocate for employees consistently met with such scathing skepticism and mistrust? Is there a pattern? I think so! I wonder if it's just another reflection of the broader societal issue of distrust and devaluation of women's work.
Similar to the other roles women juggle in their lives, we in HR are often wearing many hats—strategist, mediator, counselor, administrator, office mom, party planner, therapist, coach, and oh, don't forget our actual job. Society's expectation for women to do so much outside of the office is mirrored in the workplace. This overwhelming expectation inevitably leads to burnout and misery because no one person can do it all. Understanding this societal pressure is crucial.
Ironically, the man I disagreed with featured in the NY Times article suggested it comes down to poor time management. A man would say it comes down to time management. Men in HR are never referred to as "The Office Mom", forced to plan parties or take on the office therapist role. Men in HR have different expectations than women, and they often get paid more than we do. Let's be honest: the expectations to engage in non-promotable tasks and "office Mom" type roles at work are rarely placed on men. According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, women are 48% more likely than men to volunteer for "non-promotable" tasks such as organizing events or taking notes in meetings. Balancing all these responsibilities while facing public criticism is a heavy burden, and it's no surprise that it takes a significant toll on people, especially women, in HR.
So why do we keep doing it? It could be because we believe in people's potential and the magic of a great team. Or we're just gluttons for punishment. Either way, something's got to give.
To all non-HR people out there, we need your support. Here are five things you can do to support someone working in HR today:
Ask How We Are, Not Just How Work Is: Show genuine interest in our well-being. Sometimes, we need to talk about things beyond work.
Offer Emotional Support: A kind word or a simple gesture can make a big difference. Let us know if you see and appreciate our efforts.
Normalize HR Being Too Big a Job for One Person: Acknowledge that the scope of HR work is vast and often requires more than one person to manage effectively.
Respect Our Skills: Understand that HR is a specialized field. The passionate Admin can only step into an HR role with the necessary skills and training.
Build Community: Encourage a sense of community within the workplace where everyone supports each other. This can alleviate some of the isolation HR professionals feel.
Don’t Treat HR Like the Office Mom: Recognize that HR professionals are often expected to handle a wide range of tasks, from planning events to mediating conflicts. This "office Mom" role can be overwhelming and is not typically expected of men in the same way. Show respect for the professional boundaries and specialized skills that HR requires.
In the end, the misery many HR professionals experience isn't a sign of weakness; it reflects our immense responsibility. We deserve better, and it's time to start this conversation. So, here's to the HR folks (especially women in HR) doing their best with empathy and patience. I see you. And, honestly, I feel you! I've been feeling miserable (from time-to-time) too!